From Race To Life 2012 to Race With Wife 2013

It’s been two weeks and I still can’t believe if it really happened.

I thought it would just be an ordinary fun run — a run with a cause for the scholars of Real Life Foundation. Little did I know that another cause, a more personal one will surprise me after the race.

My best friend and boyfriend, Jay got down on one knee in front of a lot of racers (mostly from VCF) and proposed to me! To add that, he invited my friends and his friends to witness it (though they were late).

He wanted the Race for Life to eventually become a Race with Wife, and of course, I said yes!

Thanks to Alfred Cabiling for taking the video 🙂

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Waiting for the Lord.

“Wait for the Lord, wait for the Lord”

Lord, I really need you to come through for me today. My work is on the line. Our department is on the line. Only Your favor, grace and mercy can turn things around. You are the Most Powerful One, no one else. Please Lord, please.

I’m scared. And maybe I have a good reason to be. Or none. because You are there. You help me and take good care of me and Your plans are great. I may not understand them now but Your plans are way better than what I can perceive. Hold me unto Your arms, Lord. I’m a bit fragile now. Slowly losing my breath with that panic, sinking in. I will not be in fear. Lord, I know You are here, beside me, even as I write and whine and freak out. No, You rebuke the work of the enemy for he is nothing to you, nothing but a tiny wisp of distraction. No, he will not prevail. BUT YOU WILL.

For You created the world. You conceived of this plan, even. And I will not give up. I will keep the faith. I will believe. Lord, help me please.

Successful? Who,me?

But this has always haunted me — the feeling that I am not where I’m supposed to be in terms of my career.

Ever since I have seen that going corporate is not the only way to live your life, to make it to the top and to earn, I always seem to have a nagging feeling that there’s so much more – more than this. More than waking up in the morning, clocking in 8 hours or 14 the most, doing the routine of checking emails, talking to applicants and sending reports. More than ensuring that my growth is more vertical than lateral, advancing at a dizzying speed that I can barely keep the reins in. Of hobnobbing with the higher ups, you barely have time to check if your feet is still on the ground — I have been intoxicated by all these. BEFORE.

It was a hard tug from Him. More like a crash And it hurt. Hurt deeply my pride, ego, self-esteem. (Back then, I thought I didn’t have enough pride in me to be affected that way). I thought I was invincible — too arrogant to see that I have just scratched the surface of what it takes to succeed in my chosen career. I thought I had it made. I was meeting targets due for the following year, clients always praised my work, I can barely sleep trying to make everything work out and being the indispensable employee I thought I was. I was too intoxicated with success (success by my OWN definition) that I was being careless and insensitive. Pride was my fuel and it came with a cost.

I crashed and burned. Something I didn’t expect. I thought it was the end of me. I have allowed my work to define me. I made it my life. And when I lost it — lost the account due to unforeseen circumstance, lost clients who transferred to other companies, lost the revenue coming in , I didn’t know what to do. I thought I lost my everything.

But it wasn’t my everything. Hell, no.

It was JUST work. Okay, maybe it’s not just JUST work. But really, it’s just something. After i “lost” those, I’m still breathing. I still have my family, my friends, my life and most of all, I have my God. The God who has blessed me, and continues to do so, with all the things I could ever need. And I was never lacking even when I had no work, much to my surprise. In fact, I had so much more because this is the God who has supplied me with my work!

This truth – the truth that God can make me flourish and grow (personally and financially) is the promise that I have never let go of ever since He made me see that life is not all that’s within the four corners of corporate glass walls. There is so much more than that.

Look at the girl who has started her own NGO helping women who were victims of violence and abuse, or the group of people who volunteers to help take care of animals in PAWS. I have friends who are artists – musicians, painters who do not have a full-time job – who never worry about the ladder of corporate success and yet, YET they are more fulfilled and content than those I have seen with  their own offices high up in the penthouse of a building, slaves to their own BlackBerry and laptop, because they know that success isn’t measured by the amount you have in your account. Or the housewife who takes care of the home, dressing up and tutoring the kids, minding the household chores and waiting patiently for her husband to come home every single day – it may seem like a routine but her sincere heart and love is what makes it such a joy to come home to her arms everyday.

Success is never about the titles you gain or the degrees you’ve earned. Sure, it’s a step along the way but it should never be the end of it. True success is measured when you are content with all that you have – whether it be running an office, leading a cause, paving your own career or even nourishing a home – because you know that it comes from the One who is able to supply you with all that you need. It comes after you realize that more than the material things, the ties and desires you have in this world (which He will gladly supply), the most important thing really is your relationship with God.

MORE THAN ANYTHING.

Success is when you have enough humility to call on God and rely on Him for anything and absolutely everything because you know that all your efforts will fall short.

Though I still struggle from time to time and cannot say yet that I have fully yielded all authority to Him, I try my best. And every time I give Him back the reins of my life, He gives me the success. Not more than I would need, lest it makes me think it’s of my own effort again and not less than required that people wouldn’t know it’s from Him.

God gives us the success every time we surrender to His Will.

Christmas Shopping Hits

Christmas traffic has always been hell in Manila. Everyone’s in a hurry to go from one place to another, last-minute shopping and basically everyone just being plain crazy and joining in the mad-rush called The Holidays. I have always been a last-minute gift-buyer. ALWAYS. Owing it to the usually lack of creativity and effort on my part to join the crazy shoppers (sure, whatever), I decided to go hunting for the perfect Christmas gift for Jay.

How easy is it to buy a guy a gift, right? Not at all.

How in the world could i still think of something unique for someone who has everything? Okay, so that was an exaggeration, not everything. But he has always been simple, wanting things that can be of good use to him — shirts, bags, perfume, food (?) and  i seriously have no clue whatsoever to give him anymore. And considering that this is our first Christmas together, i wanted to make my gift a bit memorable, something that he’d really like.

So what does he like? Or need? Hmmm.. I thought hard and realized, either I give him a house (which obviously, I can’t afford and WTH) or a new car (ANOTHER WTH). So i was stumped.

Initially I thought of giving him a bluetooth Jabra headset so that he wouldn’t get tired of holding the phone when we’d be gabbing for a long time. But ever since we got together, those calls became less frequent, I guess since we spend almost everyday together, what’s the point of STILL talking every single time, yes? But anyway, so that’s out. My second option was a default one, look for an original soccer jersey (which is so lame) that’s hard to find but since it IS hard to find and i’m too lazy, I scrapped that out.

Until. He mentioned to me that ever since we bought that Donat Dream Gola Bag, he had always wanted to have one for his own, except with a different design.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Thank you, that you finally told me what you really wanted. I was going out of my wits thinking of whatever. Good thing there’s a Gola flagship store in Greenbelt 3 so I decided to troop there one day and luckily, they still have a Donat bag on stock. And lucky me, it’s a manly style they have!

The Donat Aston

 

The Donat Aston comes in black, white and grey. I chose the black one of course. And to top it all off, the whole store’s on sale that day. Wow!

I was so excited to give to him and see the reaction on his face. (I really hope he likes it)

Too excited that I didn’t wrap it anymore, and just kept it in the original paperbag.

Gah. I am such a Grinch.

 

 

 

2nd month

In other news, it’s our 2nd month together already. Yaay! Thank You, Lord for a wonderful best friend and boyfriend. Couldn’t ask for a better Christmas gift, really. (Well, except of course, You’re gift of salvation. But then again, that’s already a given choice)